Warning: I made an ass out of myself. It's Brutal.
...oh I was also drunk, and extra emotional*(monthly). brilliant.
I'm convinced my life is a movie, the whole time this soon-to-be-told brutal story was happening, I was so far removed from the present. I literally felt like I was watching it happen; yelling at myself like you always yell at the idiot girl going to the basement in a scary movie. Literally made a playlist of background music as I was standing there crying/yelling/cursing at my ex. I swear Adele's album 21 played and came full circle. Started with "why don't you remember" then went into to some accusatory statements of cheating, "rumour has it"... followed by slowly downhill spiral of rage "turning tables" ..."rolling in the deep"...then grand finale, "set fire to the rain" and I can assure you..fire was set!
What started as a low key Sunday Funday Brunch took a turn for the worst after about, oh I don't know; 4 Mimosas, 2 shots...then 2 vodka drinks. All the while, somehow talking about my ex, friends asking questions wondering what happened. -pot stirred. At this point, I had yet to get my things from his place- granted these things didn't matter; curling iron, body lotion etc...then I remembered he had a key. Drunk thoughts: if I ever
did anything..he has a key. Crap, yea I'll go get it.
He had been messaging me and I had yet to reply so I finally sent him a message saying that my friend was going to pick it up, "stuff is on patio he says" I get pissed. Really, you're going leave my shit on the patio. I Get there, get my stuff & head back down and then BOOM! A burst of black Rage- I saw Red, my body was controlling, all logic -gone. I'm knocking on the door, "forgot something" I said. I Barge in and get what I was looking for, then leave you ask?...oh no, I didn't stop there. I don't remember the exact conversation, it was a rage/drunk blackout, I can't decide which was more in control; but I will provide the gist.
"How could you, you're the biggest piece of Sh*t I've ever met, were you dating her before we broke up, yea...I know about her, you think you're that sly, YOUR friends told me" "how dare you, you're right I did take pleasure in you breaking your collar bone after we broke up" "you racist, I can't believe you used that card." "Wanting to see other people and ALREADY seeing other people are two very different circumstances, douchebag"
His Responses: It's not about her, How did you know, Don't talk about HER!, I just didn't know what to tell you, I couldn't look at you and say those things (douche broke up with me over the phone*) "I just wasn't IN love with you like I thought I was". *BOOM* RAGE**
"You're a low life, you have no real passion, you don't have any substantial dreams, you're a flake" "you'll never find better" "DAMN DISNEY PRINCESS NAME (new girls name is a disney name)"and not even the princess, her name is a octopus's name, who the f**k names their kid after an Octopus??!?" "I hope you get herpes, I hope she gives it to you, or some other incurable disease"
Oh yea, Pretty sure you can imagine just how brutal this all was. I'm not proud, but I did get to say things I wanted to. I don't really remember him putting up too much of a counter argument, so at least I got closure. I'm not happy I did this, but it's making it a whole lot easier to move on
now. I did laugh hysterically, the next day at the disney princess part. I'm ridiculous. ..oh and the herpes comment. Told you, grand finale "set fire to the rain" Adele.
Then, there was a call to my mom about how much I had to put up with and how he didn't deserve me. May have been a convo about
size..Mom, was less than happy about that, "you, me!" i responded.
I'm not a monster, nor do I
actually wish he gets a disease, but...the sentiment of revenge stands. I'm only human. I just wanted him to know, that what he did has consequences, it affected me and that when someone is as selfish as he was...it shouldn't go unsaid. It needed to be expressed. Granted, probably not after drinking..but what can you do. Liquid courage.
