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I gotta get me a goofy girl (55 Photos) - Beautiful-goofy-girls-10

Never Have I Ever

....been the last [wo]man standing at this game.

So unless you have been living under a rock, being anti-social or socially awkward you have played "never have I ever" and if you went to a party school.. you have been drunk playing this game. With that said, I went to the University of Texas. I know a thing or two about drinking games.

The one thing I didn't learn early on, is that it is very crucial NOT to play this game with a crush or someone you would like to date. Well, that is.. if you're me. Right off the bat, the closest friends will be your worst enemies, they know everything.. and since the point of this game is to get others drunk it becomes a "hey I'm just going to throw you under the bus and tell everyone your dirty little secrets and if you don't drink, I will tell everyone the whole story, bestie." Awesome. I will fully admit to throwing a few friends under the bus too, but hey that's the nature of the beast.

Anyway, here is why not to play with a crush... they will judge you. They will look at you differently (if you are any fun at all.) No one wants to date the girl who drinks to "never have I ever had sex in a public place" hypothetically, of course. They may want to do other things with you, but dating isn't one of them. With the same token, here is a list of my go-to questions when playing, so I can figure out what kind of person I'm considering... mind you, I want a little mischief and adventure. If you are lets say, more "conservative" Ahem boring and judgy.. you can use these to weed out prospects, I guess.
*I bet you are playing with Natty light..judgy. 

Never Have I Ever:

1. had sex in a public place
2. had sex on a first date
3. had a threesome
4. cheated on someone
5. had sex with more than one person in one day
6. had sex with two or more people in one week
7. had relations with someone at this table
8. raped someone *dealbreaker, clearly
9. murdered someone *dealbreaker, clearly
10. beat someone up
11. had an STD * you'll want to know this.
12. walked in on my parents
13. masturbated to porn
14. had to sneak off like a thief in the night before the other person woke up
15. slept with a friends boyfriend/girlfriend
16. made a sex tape
17. been arrested
18. stole anything
19. given/received road-head 
20. traded sex for material things

Yes, I know these are mostly sexual..but hey that's the fun in this game. You're welcome!

Now get to playing  you majestic sexual creatures :)

Winging it

This whole "wingman" situation has typically been a bro thing. Here's a little secret, women are amazing wingmen too. We're considerate, funny, supportive (beyond belief), natural talkers and many other amazing things. We're majestic. Period. There has been a few situations where I have served as a wingwoman to some guys, but mostly, here's a dirty little secret.. fellow majestic ladies also have wingwomen. Yep, that's right..sometimes girls go hunting, you will often find them dressed scantily clad, wearing very high heels and in a gaggle of other girls. That's right, a gaggle.

So a few days ago, a friend hit it off with a seemingly nice guy. He was with a friend, naturally my friend tried to pass the friend off on me. Right off the bat, not my type, but I did as any good wingwoman would do, took one for the team. I entertained conversations, hung out with them all night and let him buy me a few drinks (duh). After a bit, the kid grew on me, and it didn't seem so much of a duty, rather, I chose to stick around. Then, .. a friend of mine met up with us. This friend, a man friend with whom I have sexual tension with, put my wingwoman-ness to the test. Here I was... caught in the middle of a man ping-pong game. Not that I'm complaining... I would love to be in this situation more often, but I was torn ..I didn't know how to maneuver this situation.

Option one, be a good wingwoman and let my friend twiddle his thumbs.

Option two, screw being a wingwoman and hang out with my friend. After all, I had completed my duties long enough.

Option three, Ninja my way out of it while not disrupting any of the delicate relationships. 

After some other friends weighed in on what I should do, all responses came down to having to make a choice. I went with option three. If I were a guy, would you ask me to choose? Probably not. So I decided, that I wanted both. I wanted my cake and I'd be damned if I didn't eat it too! I devised a plan, made sure not to be too comfy or flirty with either, I didn't want to lose one...or worse, both. I played it cool toned it down and suggested we move bars, I saw that as an escape, left with one and had my friend be a wingman for me and make up a story about me getting split up/leaving early, whatever. Genius.

How'd it end up? Well, let's just say you can call me a ninja. A majestic freakin ninja.