Color me annoyed. I am aware of the many.. many.. maaaaany forms of douche but in all my years I've never been so duped. That is if I was talking about me, hypothetically.. I mean, it could be anyone. Suck on that internet.
The "She's not technically my girlfriend" douche, aka the "committmentphobe" douche, aka the "keep her on the back-burner" douche. Ah yes.. I know the latter two but the first, I have yet to meet, well.. until recently.
Let's just say I've had a friend for a while, a friend who shares a lot of the same interests as I do. One such interest is music and this amazing little music festival/vacation I attend annually, errr we attend annually. Anyway, as in the past four years.. this trip comes around, like clockwork there is an initial message, "Hey you going this year?" followed by the obvious, "yea, duh.. where are you staying?" ...which escalates to "let's meet up at [condo name]."
This year however, is different, I Facebook stalk just as much as the next girl.. or as I like to think of it.. doing my due diligence. Well.. seems our little friend has a "sorta girlfriend" you know.. Facebook default photo of the two.. trips and lots of check-ins/status updates with just them - mostly on her part. So I was pretty weary of how this trip would go down this year, would she be there too? They are not "Facebook Official" so maybe its not serious? Does that make me horrible? Don't care. --err sorta. I really care actually.. but let's just say that hypothetically, there has been past transgressions with the afore mentioned and let's just say that it was AMAZING. EARTH SHATTERING DELICIOUSNESS. See my problem, uuuh hypothetically that is.
Fast forward to the trip. Day one - "Hey, I'm at [insert concert] you here?" He responds, "Yea, where are you?!" --fast forward once more to me hanging out with him and his entire family.. oh yea. I've met his family (father, brother, sister, sister-in-law) the whole shaaabang. Why aren't we dating? Well... good question, he lives in a different state :( .. i know. Well, my guilty conscience starts panging so i bluntly ask.. as his hand strokes my lower back, "Hey, don't you have a girlfriend?"
"I don't have a girlfriend, I am seeing someone but.. she's just, not the one. She's really nice and all, but I'm just dating her because she likes me so much, she's nice and I really have no reason not to, yet. Well not until I move to Texas" as he slyly winks at me. "So you're just killing time with her?" I ask.. offended and slightly excited? "I guess, but that sounds terrible" Realizing he's losing any chance with me he flips the switch, "You know, she knows about you. My brother told her once, then she hacked into my account and my phone, she doesn't want me seeing you while I'm here." "Well you fucked that one up already didn't you, I mean, it's day one." I say. "I know, I couldn't not see you" he says. Just like that.. I'm a goner.
Well.. as luck or fate or hormones would would have it, we end up together.. in the biblical sense, and yet again, AMAZING.
We have plans for the whole trip.. then day two. We see each other briefly.
Day three, I can't find him on Facebook. That asshole deleted me?! Day three - part two, I run into him, livid.. I didn't bother to text him back that day. I confront him in my whiskey induced haze, "did you fucking delete me?" "No babe, I wouldn't do that, I deactivated my account.. it was something I had thought about doing anyway.. you know, for work."
"While on vacation? Come on bro, I'm not stupid.. good luck with your girl, hope she moves up from the back burner, douche."
Needless to say, that was the end of that, I continued to get wasted and now I write about it. ---err hypothetically speaking, of course.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
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