Give less of a shit.

Well, it's been a minute, hasn't it? I've been busy, life happens, I was in a slump, etc etc. bullshit excuse goes here. Sorry about it.

Through this time of blogging silence, I have learned a few things. One, it is for certain, I will die alone. Two, I am too comfortable. I need to shake it up and be uncomfortable. I go to the same places with the same people and do the same things. Heck, I even drink and eat the same things. Ruby Red and water, Vodka-water with lemon, Mexican Martinis (if you don't know what this is, you're not from Austin and you should Google it), and Tex Mex food. I need to break out of this funk. Move out of this city possibly, make noise, leave a mark, stand for something, volunteer, dance alone in public, give less of a shit.. you know?  Complacency is no joke, its the silent killer. Killer of spirit, soul, and dreams. I've realized, that more than men, I, am my worst enemy. I allow myself to continuously get hurt, and in the words of Hannah Horvath, "get my heart stomped on like monkey meat." I need to put an end to it. I cannot keep doing this to myself. That being said, I am on a mission to make myself uncomfortable, but not in like a rape-y sketch situation, just in the sense that I am going to push my boundaries. I will (try to) no longer shy away from things because it might be awkward or because I'm nervous, or because I don't know what I will look like, or how people will look at me. Screw 'em! Everyone puts so much emphasis on first impressions, me more than anyone, and to a fault. I am so in my own head about how I'm acting that it becomes almost an act, a bad one, but an act nonetheless. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still myself but I'm so aware and nervous that I get lost in my head.

From now on I'm going to be present, in the moment, oblivious to other's perceptions and unapologetic about it. At least, ...I'm gonna try! These are the things I think will help me:

1. Mix it up, try a different bar, maybe spend more time on the East side or Rainey St. 
2. Exotic new restaurants - or new to me at least
3. Dance in public, by myself. On the street or something maybe in an elevator ... I'm gonna go crazy. --I had this thought of recording it, or having a friend record me.. and sort of document my journey to give less of a shit. Nothing helps you overcome giving a shit like pure humiliation. 
4. Date more. Date the right kind of guys  - as in the opposite of the ones that I'm immediately attracted to.  
5. Or not date at all. And not dwell on it - give less of a shit. 
6. Surround myself with people who are genuine
7. Quit worrying so much about how I look and just accept my body, face, hair etc. 
8. Limit my spending and save money to travel. Anywhere, Somewhere.
9. Read more. 
10. Invest time in writing. 
11. Quit talking about and go after it. all the things. 
12. Get back in to yoga and running
13. Volunteer