As most of you know, i've recently returned home, tail between legs and all. I've been living back home for about 3 months now and it is just as bad as you think it might be. I will say though, that this homecoming has brought a great job with upward movement and earning potential as well as, wait for it... RELOCATION. Praise! Also, it has brought some good family time and reconnecting with some of my oldest and dearest friends, as well as those randoms from high school you ignore on social media.. but alas, now you unable escape them. Not a fan. Anyway, the hardest part of it all is the lack of privacy and independence. I don't know why or when it happens exactly, but I went from this self sufficient, make-shit-happen, badass to, "Mommmm, I'm hungry can you make me an omelette. Pleasssseee!" I mean one second I'm telling my parents how I have a handful of recipes in my wheel house and then i'm 12 years old again with no knowledge of how to turn on a stove. That was mostly the first 6 weeks. Thankfully I've snapped out of it. I'm not gonna bullshit you, it was mostly because I am 26 and I have the metabolism of a 26 year old drunkard who eats burgers at 2am. I am not 12, and my decrepid metabolism reminds me every day. Regardless, I am back on my clean eating kick and cooking for myself. I've been an almost strict paleo follower for about 3 weeks now. It is a real bitch, but it is finally getting easier. It doesn't help that my house is crawling with sweets. Donuts, cookies, ice cream, candy.. tortillas. I mean, it's everywhere! You know, it's getting worse, and I don't doubt that my devilish mother, who I often refer to as Satan, is doing it on purpose. She sees me struggling with Paleo, so what does she do, buys THREE kinds of donuts a week now. THREE.
Then there is the whole lack of privacy. That is the worst. I had a roommate before, sure. But we were respectful of eachother's pricavy and we didn't share a wall. ....you see where I'm going with this? Here is the real issue and the cause of all my problems. It has been so long, since I have felt the weight of a man on top of me. Too long. Why don't I just go and fix that situation you ask? Well for one, I've moved on from that stage in my life, believe it or not. Seriously, though. I don't want a hookup, and if I did, it would be with someone I trust and one I have a precedent with, those are all back in Austin.. so, so far away. "Well, fine - meet someone then" you say? No. The valley is infested with tools. Mexican macho, "woman-make-me-a-sandwich" douchebags of epic proportions. I want no part in that. Even if I could get past it, I just haven't seen anyone remotely my type that would excite my lower half. Winter, alone, with no love was brutal. I'm talking John Snow north of The Wall, brutal. (<--GOT reference: maybe that's why I'm not getting laid?)
So what is a girl to do? Well, like I said, Ive returned to my former self: self-sufficient, make-shit-happen, badass. But there is nothing more depressing then having to lock your door at 26, for fear of your parents walking in on you. I leave you with that. My life, for every positive step I take forward, I take 3 miserably depressing embarrassing steps back.
