Satisfactory Life No Longer

Do you remember report cards from elementary school? The ones that didn't have letter grades, instead they had Excellent, Satisfactory and Poor etc.. Do you remember that feeling you had when you got a Satisfactory? (I did get a few, but not many; I was an overachiever as a child) that was the worst feeling..because those of us that did get a rare "S" were never expecting it, we weren't aware of our mediocrity..then some bastard teacher calls us on it. Well my life could be graded as Satisfactory.

I'm far from Poor, I have my health, my family, friends, decent job* (decent is a stretch, but in the times of skyrocketing unemployment, I'm lucky.) I'm not Excellent either, I'm no genius, I don't have a high paying job, I wasn't smart enough to stay away from a Liberal Arts Degree, I'm what you call; single (ouch), I have never been married, I constantly get hurt in relationships and friendships, I'm not the most traveled person, I am in student loan debt (as many of us are)..etc. (this list can go on). So I'm Satisfactory, I'm not poor, not excellent, just stuck in the middle like most of us and I'm sick of it. I lack follow through, I can be described as apathetic to most things, I have a passion for few issues, and on those I make it known. However, I may not actually DO anything about it..I mostly rant. This is my problem and this is what I shall strive to correct. I think there is way for me to be Excellent, the only thing stopping me is ME. Tons of people from a situation such as mine and worse even have made it very far. These people had a drive and follow through and didn't stop because of rejection or an asshole that deters their life plan. NO, they persevered, and so shall I.

I have no clue how to do this, but I do know that if something is important to me...I'm going to do it! So here's my list of things I hope to achieve, do, love etc.

1. Find a CAREER, not a job that makes me happy, that I enjoy (rather than dread).
2. Find a way into the music industry - PR, Marketing, A&R, Management etc.
3. Marry "the one"
4. Earn at least 60k
5. Write and publish a book
6. Travel: NOLA, Bonaroo, sasquatch, Greece, Italy(take my mom), NY, Machu Picchu etc.
7. Move out of state - start over.
8. Do something that scares me once a year
9. Take a massive road trip with close friends
10. Get more tattoos: tree, floral & feather sleeve, something meaningful
11. Resolve my relationship with my Father - for good.
12. Figure out who is really there for me and cherish them. Discard the rest.
13. Quit being such a doormat to people who don't deserve me.
14. Pick the guitar back up - and make it my bitch.
15. Take my Brother snowboarding for his 18th Birthday.
16. Start a College fund the day I get pregnant -if and when I ever do.
17. Volunteer
18. Be more crafty - make things.
19. Own a home. 
20. Do one good deed a day that goes unnoticed.
21. Learn to cook authentic Mexican food from my Grandma, before it's too late.
22. Make a Thanksgiving meal, by myself.

This is all I can think of... for now, but I fully intent to spend my life trying to accomplish the things that truly matter to me, trivial and otherwise. I WILL be a better person, with the life I want..because otherwise, I'm not living.

Another Year Older, None The Wiser...

I turned 25, yay?

I mean, at least I made it to 25, yaaaaaay! (that's more like it.) To commemorate my birth, I decided we should play pub golf. What is pub golf you say? Well, it is basically the world's worst drinking game. Each bar is a "hole" that has a respective par (3, 4, 5) in golf you want to have the lowest score possible, as in this drinking game. Now, to do this, you must drink more and include a dare of my choosing. Now, with that said, I was in control of the rules.. haha. My friends, thank god, were up for the challenge and really gave this a shot. This, did not end well. (Below is the now infamous score card)

It all went south at hole 4. What was I thinking with popsicle martini, what is the popsicle martini you ask?
This:

Not only did I drink this all vodka martini (mixer is the popsicle), I chugged it and chased it with a birthday shot, that some very cute stranger bought me as I awkwardly brought up ATX Hipsters (see score card above.)

This is where the night gets hazy.. aww hell who am I kidding, this is where my memory disappears. Somehow, I made it in to the next bar and apparently, so I'm told, I threw back a shot of Jameson, chugged a beer, flirted with birthday shot boy, invited him to join our pub golf crawl and lost the ability to stand up alone.   Perfect, classy 25th right? Wrong, I not only made a fool of myself and missed cute boys face, I landed on his shoulder, puckered up..then decided to take a little nap there. FUCK! I'm a mess (hence score card title.) That being said, my friends voted me off the island. They literally voted me off, called a cab sent Frankie home with me and put me in bed. Thank God. That level of messiness did not need to be seen by any more strangers.

Next thing I remember is waking up at 7am, immediately I look for my phone, great still there. I then proceed to send everyone this message, "I have no clue what time I left. What I know is I woke up surrounded by napkins, trash can, seltzer water and my purse..so I'm guessing I was wasted..sorry, hope you had fun!!" The responses I received were hilarious. This is how I know my friends are amazing. Thank you all for the fun, the shots and the pain Sunday morning. 25 couldn't have been spent better, you all are amazing! Let's never repeat that night.