RED FLAGS

Recently I was introduced to bigredflags.com by a friend. Naturally the first thing I did was punch myself for not thinking of this first. Then, I started thinking of all those HUGE red flags I've noticed, but ignored in the past. You know what I'm talking about, those things that a guy (or girl) does, that kind of makes you cringe but you justify it and try to talk yourself into thinking that, it's not really a big deal, because you like them so much..or because you're desperate and don't want to be alone.. ya those. Well, i'm not proud, but I have totally ignored some red flags and after reading some of the stories on the blog (link above), I realized...enough is enough!!

I can no longer, no..I WILL NO LONGER ignore these red flags. I've come to the conclusion that I'm okay being single. I'd rather not be, but I am independent, I have amazing friends, I'm cool as hell and adventurous.. I don't need to subject myself to basically, self inflicted pain by ignoring things that are so blatant at times..when I should just walk away from the situation.

Let me preface the narration below, "hellerrrr" -should be read like Wendy Williams
"Baaa-nanas" -should be read like Rachel Zoe.
--If you don't know who these ladies are, 1st go slap yourself, 2nd google them.


Here are some of the red flags I've ignored:

Possessive 'Playground toy', boy: super jealous, questions every guy I talk to. Doesn't believe any guy friend is just a friend. When he sees me talking to anyone of the opposite sex, feels the need to wrap his hands around me and kiss me. After explaining that I wasn't into PDA, he asks me if I even like him then accuses me of liking his brother. --hellerrr RED FLAG

Man-Child serial monogamist/committment phobe?: repeatedly told me he didn't want anything serious. I pretended like I could be okay with something more casual, even though he wanted exclusivity..just not "the title," he said. Finally, he commits after I jokingly say something about not wanting to wait around. Ends up saying he wasn't ready for a relationship or marriage, granted the Man-Child is 28 and had been in a relationship with me for the last 8 months.. never mind that. Should have just listened when he told me, blatantly "I Don't Want Something Serious" --hellerrrrr RED FLAG!

Peter Pan syndrome: On multiple occasions, with multiple men I've ignored this doosie. This applies to a man over the age of 26 who has no drive, but all the imagination in the world. Can usually pick up and leave without a care in the world, (which doesn't always make you spontaneous and fun, it makes you completely un-grounded and perpetually looking for what's missing, rather than enjoying what you have.) NO direction, continues to tell you all his "dreams" as empty as they may be.. always has short term goals, nothing substantial of course. Then when they can't accomplish these irrelevant goals, they move on. Completely unfazed. --hellerrr RED FLAG.

The Sexual Deviant: When a "straight man" asks you to play around with his... not so straight man parts. --Hellerrrr RED FLAG! Baaa-nanas!!

Here are some RED FLAGS from people I know, whether they told me or not:

Guys in gangs/have been to jail/arrested/fighters etc. --Hellerrrr RED FLAG! Baaa-nanas!

Cheaters: being honest of your cheating past doesn't make you a saint. 80% of the time, it's kind of a warning. Then they can and will refer to that time where they told you they had a problem.

Baby Mama Drama: I'm sorry, but dating comes with it's own baggage. I don't need more. (neither do you!) --RED FLAG

Over 35 and never been married? - just weird. Afraid? what's wrong with them? -- Baaa-nanas


Those who perpetually accuse you of cheating: ok, I've said this before and I'll say it again, I believe guilt breeds jealousy. Those people who are constantly paranoid of being cheated on or accuse constantly..are just guilty. They are usually the ones fooling around. --RED FLAG

Guys without JOBS! (who are not actively pursuing one) -no explanation necessary --Hellerrrr RED FLAG!

Secret Keeper --RED FLAG!

Not-So-Social Drinker: when you can't plan an activity without alcohol, and the absence of alcohol is upsetting or results in anger issues. --Hellerrrr RED FLAG!

Like I said earlier, I WILL NO LONGER ignore these red flags. I am determined to listen to my gut. We all know whether a person is genuine early on and when you feel that gut check, aka red flag and ignore it you are setting yourself up for heartache. I am completely content with my life as it is and I will not continue to waste my time on a man who is simply...not worth it.

The times...they are a-changing! (here's hoping there is not a part 2)